Mood:
accident proneTopic: LOOKING AFTER NUMBER ONE
Italian jobclick me!
Three,two, one....boooom! I only told you to blow the blaady DOORS OFF !(in cockney accent)
"Dawn't noabaady maive neevfer oi gat a plan" so I have a plan! It's called join the "Self Preservation Society" or wait? hang on is that not selfish? maybe it is ,but these days in this Pc correct world breathing oxygen in and emitting co2 is being selfish.
I'm all for a little bit of self preservation but I draw the line at surgery to look 20 years younger!so lets discuss this selfish act I'm about to commit? ok well first of all I'll boil the kettle and have a cup of Tea,hmm hang on that's selfish I can't give anyone else Tea. ohh dear ohh dear.Right, down to business and lets see if we can organise my life into a pleasant and profitable existance.
So here's an A list of absolutely necessary items to acheive this.
1..A wife 2 ..kids 3 ..a nice wee house 4. a good car 5. friends 6. money.7golf clubs
The B list of not totally necessary items include the following:
1.. loads of money 2. more than three.. kids with any one women .3..a big flat screen hd ready tv.4 unlimited booze(see I'm not reliant on alcohol at all as you will see in this clip it proves me right again!.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=sBXSn7R091Y
And finally things you definitely do not need...
1..relatives,2..the mother in law..3 a mistress.4. bad neighbours 5 south african terrestrial tv.
Hang on a tick it's my mother on the phone ................(30 minutes later) Well wouldn't you know it! my mother has just given me the answer to my dilema for a happy life....forget all the above
"SURE AS LONG AS YOU HAVE YOUR HEALTH AND STRENGTH SON AND YOU CAN WORK!"
SO There you go I was right all along ............... This IS "The Self Preservation Society"
SAY HELLO TO THE "SANDMAN" 
get your skates on mate and wash your "BOATRACE"
